Space City Skeptics

The Official Blog of the Houston Skeptic Society

Possible Proof of Bigfoot Discovered in Massachusetts Woods…..

with 5 comments

 

Police officer searches for evidence of Sasquatch.

Police officer searches for evidence of Sasquatch.

After decades of countless wild goose chases and false leads, cryptozoologists may finally have found the proof of the existence of Bigfoot that they have been waiting for. On an isolated walking trail in the woods outside of Harwich, MA, a Baldwin Acrosonic piano was discovered which may possibly have been played recently by a large ape-like creature.

“It was just sitting there in the middle of the trail,” Sgt. Adam Hutton of the Harwich Police Department explained. “There was even a bench in front of the piano. Clearly someone had played the piano recently, and we could find no evidence that it wasn’t a Sasquatch.”

Hundreds of cryptozoologists, experts in the investigation of animals not considered by mainstream biologists to exist, arrived on the scene within minutes of the piano’s discovery and quickly canvassed the area for additional clues. Within minutes, researchers like Bigfoot enthusiast Deke Crawford had found what they were looking for: a single dark hair stuck to a branch thirty feet away from the piano. “We’ll have to wait for the DNA results to know for certain, but I know that a Bigfoot was here and that is what I’ll be saying at tomorrow’s live press conference.”

This isn’t the first time that a musical instrument has been linked to Bigfoot. Anecdotal reports of massive hairy man-beasts being sighted in the vicinity of a range of instruments, usually in the brass and woodwind family, have been passed around the Bigfoot community for years, but this is the first known link between the mysterious creature and a piano. But to Crawford this makes perfect sense. “These are living, breathing creatures with feelings, hopes, dreams, and an interest in the finer arts. Such intelligence is the only way to explain their ability to avoid leaving any direct evidence of their existence for so many years.”

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Written by skepticpedi

November 23, 2008 at 10:19 pm

Posted in Cryptozoology, Satire

5 Responses

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  1. I knew it! I’ve always said, “Bigfoot is real, and he’s the next Yo-Yo Ma.”

    Tiffany

    November 24, 2008 at 4:42 pm

  2. Note how far from the piano the bench sits! Clearly this was to accommodate the extra reach of the oversize feet as they worked the pedals.

    The Perky Skeptic

    November 24, 2008 at 5:56 pm

  3. You should have seen the size of the footprints they found. The thing must have been 8-feet tall!

    skepticpedi

    November 24, 2008 at 6:28 pm

  4. You know, I hear Liszt stole his Piano Concerto Number 1 from a Sasquatch composer. It took him over 26 years to piece the thing together ’cause bigfoots is so elusive!

    The Perky Skeptic

    November 24, 2008 at 10:31 pm

  5. Not so elusive as one might think. I got beat out by a yeti for 1st chair trumpet in my high school marching band. But I got the last laugh when he was banned from marching after the football team kept tripping in the large footprints he left all over the field.

    skepticpedi

    November 24, 2008 at 11:25 pm


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