Space City Skeptics

The Official Blog of the Houston Skeptic Society

Posts Tagged ‘Religion

Opti-Wash Redemption Contact Solution…..

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Are you tired of protein deposits, irritated eyes, and wickedness?

Fear of corneal ulceration and eternal torment in a lake of fire got you down?

Redemption is finally at hand!

OPTI-WASH Redemption contact solution maintains a thin layer of righteous moisture on the surface of your lenses, so they feel fresh and moist for divine comfort throughout the day. And only new OPTI-WASH Redemption, with its complex blend of lubricants, moisturizers, preservatives, and holy water, washes away both lens debris and the day-to-day build up of sin.

When contact lenses are soaked in OPTI-WASH Redemption contact solution, the surface of the lens is reconditioned and blessed every night by adsorbing a proprietary reconditioning and sanctification system. This allows a layer of moisture from your natural tears to be formed on the lens surface, and for the accumulation of transgressions to easily rinse away .

OPTI-WASH Redemption incorporates new ingredients to a disinfection/purgation system that has been used for nearly 2,000 years. Alcon, in cooperation with the Catholic Church continues to develop biblically based technology to care for the new types of contact lenses available. This focus has allowed OPTI-WASH Redemption to continue to achieve a high level of disinfection against both bacteria, fungi, and iniquity.

Always use the contact solution prescribed by your eye doctor or priest. Ask your eye doctor or priest if OPTI-WASH Redemption is right for you. Remember, only your eye doctor or priest can determine the contact lens, solution, and reconciliation combination that is right for you.

Written by skepticpedi

May 6, 2009 at 9:30 am

Posted in Religion, Satire

Tagged with ,

Unintelligent Design…..

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If man was created in god’s image, then god has lower back pain and an enlarged prostate.

Written by skepticpedi

April 23, 2009 at 9:36 pm

Posted in Evolution, Religion

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Prayer in the Information Age…..

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Now I am not a religions man. Far from it in fact. So I can claim no theological expertise. Regardless of my lacking Biblical fund of knowledge, I can’t help but think that Information Age Prayer, a new subscription prayer service, would be offensive to those who believe in the Judeo-Christian deity. IAP, which was founded in 2009, claims to harnass the power of technology to strengthen their subscribers’ connection with God, and to do away with the stress of worrying about forgetting to say a daily prayer (do Christians really worry about this?).

According to the company website,

“Information Age Prayer is a subscription service utilizing a text-to-speech entity (a computer) to incant your prayers each day. We use state of the art text-to-speech synthesizers to voice each prayer at a volume and speed equivalent to typical person praying. Each prayer is voiced individually, with the name of the subscriber displayed on screen. If the prayer is for someone else, then that name is displayed on screen instead. Your privacy is protected, all prayers are not audible outside of the Information Age Prayer location. While it is certain that God hears the prayers, we cannot guarantee that other supernatural beings do not overhear or otherwise obtain knowledge of them.”


“The omniscient God knows exactly who has subscribed and who each prayer is from when their name is displayed on screen and their prayer voiced.”

God is, according to the creators of IAP, omniscient but apparantly requires visual aids in order to know who to give credit for the prayer. But being omniscient, this God should know what a person needs help with before they even know that they need help for it. God, in fact, is the reason that person needs help in the first place. So it would seem that the content of the prayer should be irrelevant and that the physical act of performing it is what matters, leaving me to wonder how any Christian, Jew, or Muslim would think that this service is anything more that an attempt to make money off of credulous morons.

For $4.95 a month, for instance, you can pay to have a computerized voice decrease a loved one’s time spent in purgatory with a daily Prayer for the Deceased, or for a bargain at $19.95 a month you can choose the lengthy Catholic Morning Prayer. There are also options for those of Protestant, Jewish, Muslim and unaffiliated persuasions as well. I could find none that called for the smiting of enemies however.

The company makes no claims of efficacy, but honestly I don’t think it will matter. I’ve met enough people that tout Pascal’s Wager as a reason to believe to know that this company will do just fine.

Written by skepticpedi

March 27, 2009 at 9:21 pm

Posted in Religion

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Remember When Zagmuk Used to Mean Something…..

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by Sumu-la-El
Remember when Zagmuk used to mean something, before it became so commercialized. Before every bazaar started selling Marduk ornaments and 12-stone diamond pendants. You know the ones, where each diamond represents a day of Marduk’s grueling battle with Tiamat, the monster of chaos.

I remember a time in Babylonia when Zagmuk meant a chance to come together as a people, forgetting our petty differences, to assist our patron deity Marduk, the Sun god and creator of the world, in restoring order, beauty, and peace to the barren world by once again repelling the advances of Tiamat. Why the horrible goddess of the sea returns each year I know not. But I do know that it is with our aid that Marduk finds the strength to cleave the hideous chaos dragon in half with his invincible spear.

But these days, most of my Mesopotamian brothers probably don’t even know what Zagmuk is all about. I mean, you can hardly mention Zagmuk anymore without offending somebody, or calling the wrath of the BCLU down upon your village. Nobody seems to even care that tomorrow the sun will remain visible in the great sky for slightly longer than yesterday, marking the turning of the tide in favor of Marduk as he once again attempts to renew the earth for yet another year. Marduk is what Zagmuk is all about and I’m not ashamed to say it.

Written by skepticpedi

December 21, 2008 at 11:29 am

Posted in Satire

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